darkpixiegrrl

Got back Friday night from visiting with my mom in Alabama for the last two weeks

I wouldn't call it a vacation exactly, more of a change of scenery.

I definitely don't miss having pets though.

My mom and Elaine have 3 cats and a three legged dog.
Two of the cats are alpha-females thus meaning the third cat feels shunned and therefore pisses on the carpet on a regular basis.
Yuck.

I'm a bit of a control freak and more so with Killian.
My mom watches quite a bit of TV which wouldn't normally bother me but when you have a toddler around that much TV is really bad for them.
Killian didn't have really anywhere to play by himself either so that was a bit frustrating.

Besides that I drank a lot and ate crappier food than normal and now must make up for it until I lose the 5lbs or so I gained while there.

Was pretty excited to get home until I woke up yesterday morning with a bloody nose and horrible allergies and had totally forgotten about the black mold growing in the air vents

I've cleaned each vent with bleach three times since we moved in and finally started to take off the vent plates to get inside when I realized I should just let the Apartment Complex handle this

Killian's doing really well.
He enjoyed being in Alabama
He got barked at quite a bit and scratched by one of the cats (he cornered her twice) on each hand
but still loves animals

We did go to the Montgomery Zoo while there and he really liked the reptile house and he really really likes watching fish.

Although Alabama is quite a bit more humid than Texas it was a good 10-20 degrees cooler there.
Sucks to be back in 100+ heat again.

Before we left for Alabama we had dinner at Trudy's and got to see two people that I had worked with back there 4ish years ago. Both of them being managers now and fully willing to help me get working there again.
I really really really want to go back to work.
First reasons being that it would be the easiest and funnest way for me to lose all the extra baby weight

But the job might not be worth the cost and risk of finding childcare for Killian
So incredibly frustrating

I really do envy people with kids who have family that lives nearby
Plus I'd have to figure out a way to get to work and back and all that jazz

Ooh, and on another rambling note
Mandy and Paul got me The Graveyard Book for my birthday (Neil Gaimans newest novel) and it's fantastic
It's in the top five favorite Neil Gaiman books now
probably even top three (after Neverwhere and Anansi Boys)
And on another Neil Gaiman note, Killian and I rented Coraline from the Library while in bama and I didn't even finish it.
I know it's gotten good reviews and has a good rating on IMDB and I'm glad for that but I personally didn't like it. I liked the fact that They Might Be Giants did the soundtrack and I liked some of the voice acting but did not like the way it was directed and changed from the book.
I'll leave it at that.

And now to stop rambling

My mom and Elaine will be in town until Tuesday and I'm going to attempt to drag them out to Casino el Camino tonight. Apparently it was featured on a show on the Food Network so that's got the all intrigued

Either way I'll be out an about at Elysium tonight to dance some of the calories off




Love and Kisses!!

So now I know why Flynn's been obsessed with this movie since SXSW
It's amazing and brilliant and really really well done
Sam Rockwell does an amazing job as the rock of this movie

Unfortunately the theater release is still a bit limited since it's still technically an Independent film
Only cost $5 million to make - considering how stunning it is that's pocket change (specially for a sci-fi flick)
So we had to go to a normal theater and it totally blew
Now I feel spoiled that I have the Alamo
It was still worth it

Anyhoo, I can't say too much about it
Please go and see it!
If you like Science Fiction you will love this movie


In other news Killian and I are going to be going to Alabama for the next two weeks to spend time with my mom, looking forward to it
Oddly looking forward to it because it means a change in heat

I am so sick of it being so fucking ridiculously hot out



crap
Kilian's awake

Love!

Go and see Moon!!!

Happy Birthday to me!

It does bother me that I'm now 27 and the only big thing that I've accomplished is wife and mother.
Perhaps one of these days I'll have a career.
Film work is pretty exciting and fun and doesn't bore me to death.

Flynn's been talking more about doing a lot of film work and has become pretty good friends with some pretty influential people.

Tonight I get to go out and party, woohoo!
I totally need to get out more.

Killian's doing really well
I've been talking to family members and peeps about his lack of a real vocabulary and am now not too terribly worried about it.
He's a smart boy, he'll figure it out.
I am still going to get him some flashcards and am going to try to teach him how to read as soon as possible.
He can connect thoughts pretty easily and follows simple orders really well.
Now it's just trying to get him to focus on saying words instead of sounds.

Flynn's mom got me this super awesome fancy vacuum cleaner that arrived here last night. I know it's probably silly to some of y'all that I can get so excited about cleaning supplies but it's what I live for when I'm stuck at home :p

hmm... I'm hungry

Lovelovelove and Kisses!!!

Hello neglected Journal

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but my again my internet access consists of my sitting in the apartment clubhouse.
Update

Flynn decided that the best birthday present he could give me is more time with him so in that thought he bought a very very very crappy $200 car - strictly so he can get to and forth from work without having to spend 2hrs a day on the bus.
The car needs a lot of work to ever make it remotely nice and therefor Killian is never allowed in it, at least not until the driver side doors are fixed (it was hit pretty badly and the doors on that side are completely smashed in and inoperable)
The purchase was completely his decision so whatever

Killian had his 18mnth doctors appointment the other day (Ironically the day he turned 19mnths)
He is a little over 34inches tall and weighs 28.2lbs
Giant baby boy
He's doing well
The doctor confirmed that he's already in his terrible twos and In the last month I've already had to call the doctor over behavioral issues. When Killian gets upset he tends to hit himself or smash his head against stuff
Just a little discomforting really

The new apartment is nice
Since we've moved in the maintanence men have had to replace every appliance in the kitchen except for the refrigerator. (Faucet, Dishwasher, Oven, and Garbage Disposal)
It's been fun, really.

Almost all of my neighbors are Asian or Indian which I still think is weird.
And for some reason they all think that 3am is the best time to have very loud phone conversations
i'm getting sick of being tired. sigh

Anyways, My birthday is on Thursday and I don't really have anything planned.
Flynn of course will be working -overtime as well - yay
I'm trying to plan a party on this next Sunday but we'll see
not sure if everyone will show up or not

shrug

Love and Kisses!!

So we're all moved in

The move went pretty well over the weekend
Mike and I got all of the furniture moved on Saturday which was fine except for the rain, mud, and a twisted foot. oh, and a lot of bruises
and then on Sunday Flynn and Ricky (and I- somewhat) got the rest of the boxes of crap moved

man, we have a lot of crap

I gave up on having any closet space and just let Flynn take it over


I have very limited internet access

(have to use the apartment club house)

I am much better now that I have Killian back
he seems to be liking the apt and the complex so far

I really really dig that everything is within walking distance

That's it for now

Love and kisses!

I have this awful lurking feeling that no one's going to come to help me move and I'm going to be trying to move all of the furniture and boxes by myself up two flights of stairs.

Oh, and on top of that I got my period this morning.
Cause, you know that totally helps me.

Currently our new neighbors behind us (who also have a motorcycle and are apparently growing weed) have a pitbull that keeps jumping over the fence and running into our yard.

Thank fucking god we're leaving!

I miss Killian so much it hurts

I get him back on Tuesday

On a plus side

I get to go to Elysium tomorrow night for 80's night with a bonus of When In Rome playing.


Wish me luck!!

Hopefully people will show up to help me move!


Love!!

We got the place, Hurray

When Flynn's mom walked in the door yesterday to get Killian he literally jumped down from the couch squealing and ran to her.
Not worried about that then. I know he's having fun.
And yes, I bawled for the first 5 minutes after he left and I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about him being so far away.

Thus why I need to keep myself busy.

Currently I'm taking a break from packing.
Still need to figure out about the u-haul stuff.
I'm thinking Saturday would be good time for that
should probably make reservations soon..

The apartment's pretty cool

I am a little concerned at how small the closet in the mast bedroom is
Flynn has way way way too many clothes

I think I might have to push some of his clothes into the hall closet
Either that or we need to look into getting a dresser

I am however pretty excited about Killians room
the master and his room are pretty much the same size so he'll have literally twice the space than he's used to
I might just be able to fit all of his toys in there :D


alright

here we go

lovelove

Currently my little angel baby love boy is napping.
I'm pretty certain I will cry today.
I cannot even express how much I will miss him.

Flynn's mom will be on her way from Waco shortly to come pick him up.
There are also friends on their way to bring me boxes.

My mom is supposedly on her way to fax the much needed documents to the apartment complex so that we may go and pick up our keys

Oh the anxiety.
arg.

Once Killian is gone I will be ripping our house apart boxing things up and throwing a lot of stuff away.
I've also decided to just go ahead and donate all of the stuff that isn't trash instead of trying to sell it.

Killian is now wearing clothing meant for 3 year olds.
Giant baby boy.

Time to wander around aimlessly waiting.

Lovelove

I think I might have forgotten to mention this

all the thanks to Becca is for the Dreamwidth.org account

Smooooccchhh

so, I'll probably stop writing here and mostly write there


Lovelovelove

Flynn had his courtdate this morning
Our landlord blatantly lied to the judge and we cannot yet prove it
so we lost.

On the upside
with this news we borrowed a friends car and after looking at apartments online I went in and filled out an application and now all that we need is a co-signer because of my sucky credit.
As soon as we get a co-signer we can move in tomorrow.

So now we're packing and Flynn just needs to make some calls and I'm going to stay hopeful.

The fam came by and took Killian for the day and I will be handing him off to Flynn's mom on wednesday for the rest of the week

Love and kisses!

Thank you Becca!

News for the day:

Flynn is now in court for our eviction process. yay happy blah.
Hopefully it'll give us at least a little time to find a place
still looking though
real hard to find a new place to live when you don't have any transportation to go look at new places.

Currently my dad, sister, and grandmother are in town, until tomorrow that is.
Pretty thrilled to see my grandma, although she is pretty worn down since the last time I saw her
Granted, the last time I saw her was a month before my grandfather - her husband of 62 years - passed away.
Killian is awesome and is constantly showing off how cute and adorable he is.
We all got together yesterday and hung out. What's really stupid is my family is still hung up on some beef (that Flynn and I aren't even knowledgeable about) between Flynn and Paul.
So there's drama there and Robyn gets mad at me when I make them choose since it's their beef.

Stupid Drama.

There's a chance that if things go badly in court today that we will have a whole 5 days to get the hell out. Which means my project of the day is to find an apartment that has immediate move in - and that doesn't care about our really really bad credit.
We have the money for a new place - just not the credit.
So now we have to try and find a co-signer
Also I have to find out if Flynn's mom is still interested in taking Killian for a few days so that we can move.

Thbbbt.
Stress blows.

Got to hang out with Mrs Elizabeth the other day who I haven't seen in months. (the old school lovey dovey Elizabeth - not the freak ex neighbor Elizabeth)
It's good to know I have at least a few people I can still count on to be awesome.

I'm still pretty torn up inside about a friend of 12 years or so who's just stopped talking to me and given me the cold shoulder - no matter how many times I've tried to talk to him without any reason to why.
If I think about it too much I get all teary so I shall just not think about it at all.

I'm excited to move even though Flynn is dreading it and trying to delay it for as long possible.
We've been in the same place for the last two years and I totally understand where Flynn is coming from.
This is the house that we brought Killian home from the hospital to. We were married in the backyard. It holds a lot of memories.

I'm totally ready for a change though.

That's it for now
Way too much stuff to do today without the energy to do it

Love and Kisses!!


Thanks again Becca for giving me a new place to bitch :D

Nothin like having your husband blame you and tell you that you're a bad mother because your 1 1/2 yr old has a tantrum and purposely bangs his head on a shelf causing a huge blue bump

I would cry but it wouldn't do any good

I'm so fucking irate right now

I hate moving.

I'm waiting until we give a deposit on a place before I start packing.

My dad, stepmom, sister and grandma are coming in this weekend.
I'm pretty stoked but nervous.

Flynn has a court date with our landlord (slumlord) next monday about the eviction.
I've been going crazy thinking about it and am trying to calm down and rationalize.

What sucks is that I didn't realize security deposits on new places were going to be so frickin expensive.
Not to mention we're going to have to get a moving truck and transfer utilities

If I could afford to play the lottery this would be about the time to win a lot of money.

The symptoms haven't eased up yet.
Very very annoying.
What's the worst (beyond the spinning/twitching brain/head) is the constant need to poo.
The bathroom has become my work space (it also get's the best wifi reception)

I finally slept almost completely through the night last night though
Only woke up once when Flynn came home and then went back to sleep within minutes
Today was a rare morning where I woke up before Killian

Killian must be going through yet another growth spurt
He eats constantly

When we went over to Amber's house on Sunday Killian had everyone think that I starve him
A whole hour after breakfast he was demanding to eat everything in Amber's house
My little piggy

Back to work I go

Smoooch

After contemplating it for a while I've decided to just stay off of my meds and see what happens.
I know that some post partum depression can last a while but it's been almost a year and a half and I hate having to rely on medication.
While talking to Flynn about it I had to think way back before I was pregnant and contemplate how sane I was. Realized that back then I had a coping method for my anxiety - smoking. I'm so not picking that up again. So now I have to find a new coping method.
I'm hoping for a gym membership for my birthday and maybe that'll help.

Now only if these damn withdrawal symptoms would stop.
I shall make a list so that when I look back at this I will know why I'm stopping the meds

Dizziness
Nausea
Brain twitches/zaps
Indigestion
Loss of balance
Insomnia

The insomnia totally sucks.
I finally woke up this morning feeling rested which is super awesome. Course I had almost an entire bottle of wine last night but managed to not be hung over. At least it got me to sleep.

Flynn and I went out for a date night Saturday and I danced until my feet could dance no longer. Now I am nursing blisters but I had lots of fun.


Alright, now to start looking for a new place to live.
Sigh
I hate moving.

Love!

So Walmart doesn't make a generic of Lexapro

Now I just get to wait however long it takes to get back on medicaid

I feel like I'm hungover
like my head is full of electrified cottonballs
all fuzzy and whoooshy

I woke up last night when Flynn got home from work and starting thinking randomly about how angry I am at Killian's sucky 'Godparents'
I was going to do this long angry rant but now I just don't have the energy

Maybe it's just me but when I decided Killian should have Godparents I wasn't so much thinking about the religion aspect but in the - someone to look out for/always be there to listen to him thing.
Instead I ended up with people who don't seem to give a rats ass about him but will brag that they're his Godparents.

hmm so maybe that was a bit ranty

Either way
I have officially decided Killian has no Godparents currently.
Flynn obviously doesn't agree with me and in this aspect is way too patient with people.

In other news

We seriously need to find another place to live
Since Flynn's working so much it's kinda up to me to find a place
I still have my fingers crossed about next door but I can't expect too much


ahh well

lovelovelove

My brains twitching already.

Arg

Stupid SSRI's.

On a happier note
(while waiting for this page to load I found this)

I wish I had thought of this 2yrs ago when Flynn and I got married
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2411163.ece?OTC-RSS&ATTR=News

What's weird is yesterday I kept thinking I heard clicking everywhere I went
then I wake up this morning and everything all 'whoosh whoosh' whenever I turn my head
which Flynn's answer to it is "Just don't turn your head."

Apparently it's going to be one of those days
I'm gonna call my doctor in a little bit and see if he'll give me a new prescription I can get filled at Walmart so instead of waiting for my medicaid to come back I can just go and pick it up for $4

It also seems that I have early Arthritis and can't crochet for very long before my left hand completely cramps up.


bleh

Finally saw Slumdog Millionaire and I am totally in love with it.
Danny Boyle's been my favorite director since I saw 28 days later and realized he did all of my other favorite movies as well. By the way, if you haven't seen Sunshine and like space movies I highly recommend it, (it's my favorite of all space movies).

In other news

Our landlords continuing to be a douche and is trying lie to us about stupid stuff we can call him out on, (like telling Flynn "Oh, I never talked to your wife about a deal with rent" when Flynn was in the room with me while I talked to him. Stupid.
So the duplex next door to us, owned by the 94yr old jewish man we've helped whenever we could is going up for rent and we're considering moving in there since le douche is starting to threaten us about stuff he has no foot stand on legally.
arg
anyways

Flynn likes his job working at Blizzard. He's apparently the smartest one there and only one who's never played the game before (World of Warcraft). We're hoping he'll be able to move up the line pretty quickly.

Killian's awesome. He said Dinosaur for the first time the other day - and then realized that he has a gazzillion dinosaurs in his room - he was pretty excited about that.

I'm coping without meds right now and I think I'm doing alright. This time I weaned myself a little bit by cutting my dosage in half for the last week so hopefully I can get back on the meds before the brain twitches start.
My patience is a bit shorter than normal and I have to bite my tongue a lot because everything seems to make me angry and irritated.


I really hope we can move in next door, it'd be a nice change without a big move.
The only amenity switch would be that we lose a washer and dryer but gain a dishwasher.
I'm hoping that Patsy (Mr. Goodies niece who's in charge) will be willing to consider us and consider adding on to the duplex.

Anyhoo

Love and Kisses!

I am determined to have a productive and good day today.

I need to sell something on craigslist today so I can get diaper money.

Killian and I went over to Amber's house yesterday and had loads of fun. Killian ended up butt naked running around the back yard in the sprinkler. Got some awesome pictures but can only post the semi - clothed ones due to kiddy porn issues which totally freaks me out.
I'm upset that I can't post the pictures and bothered by anyone who would think of them wrongly.
Ah well

http://oconnorwebb.smugmug.com/gallery/7417156_4bmCD#477964775_tjNyV

Just bandaged up my mosquito warwounds and have a whole lot of laundry to do today


We were really really low on coffee yesterday which resulted in super weak coffee that totally sucked so now that I've had almost 3 cups of pretty strong coffee I'm gonna get to cleaning cuz I feel super wired


Love and Kisses!

I'm low on meds and for whatever reason totally procrastinating on filling out the medicaid forms to renew crap. I halved my dosage so it'll last a bit longer and apparently that's too drastic.
I am annoyed by EVERYTHING right now.
Killian will not nap at all today.
The neighbor is using the most annoying puttering lawn mower right now and they've turned our unused carport section into a smoking area.
rarrrr.

I might try to turn all this angsty energy into cleaning energy later but right now I'm just too fucking pissy to deal with anything.

I wish I didn't have to be on fucking meds to be sane and not angry at everything. I think that I might need to up my dosage anyways. I don't know why the doctor made the prescription refill for just 30 frickin days. ERG.
If I still smoked I'd totally need a cigarette right now.


Oh, and to make matters worse my silver chain that holds my ankh that I've been wearing every day for the last .. 7 or 8 years finally snapped in half the other day so I'm without my favorite charm.

stupid universe

Our landlords brother/cousin/nephew? is apparently going to repaint the duplex within the next couple of days and right now they're scouring the old paint off and yuck dude. Paint chips everywhere. I just went out to bring in the trash cans and was immediately attacked with mold/pollen and dust allergies.
One of these days I might have to start taking some real allergy medicine.

Course this isn't helping Killian take a nap much either.

In other news

I'm getting further on the crocheting although every new step takes me a little while to learn. It's pretty simple once you get the hang of it though.
I'm excited about learning to knit. That seems much more my speed.
I want to also learn how to do embroidery work so I can start designing pillows and stuff for Killian.
Later next month or so Flynn's mom's going to be taking Killian to Waco for a couple of days and I decided I'm going to try and redo his room while he's gone.

Our neighbors are turning out to be really cool. They've been giving Flynn rides to work lately because Dan's a complete and utter douche now.

Eeyores is tomorrow and we're still trying to figure out a ride there. There's not many people I'll trust to drive my little angel boy around.

hmm.. I need to eat food now.

By the way, Ben if you still read my journal I totally miss you lots and wish you'd contact me in some way, even if you're super pissed at me (don't have any idea what I could have done though)
Hope you're doing well


Love and Kisses!